Sunday, January 6, 2019

     26 weeks today. Only 2 more to my first big goal. Starting to really get things together for both her birth and recovery period. My bag is packed and her bag is packed.  Started getting some stock piles of things for the kids.

     At the most we have 7.5 weeks left. The surgeon really doesn't want to pass 33.5 weeks. Hopefully will know a little more after next week's ultrasounds and 3 appointments.

Thursday, January 3, 2019

     So, they rescheduled my 7th appointment to the 14th. They want us to meet with whole team on the same day. This is definitely more convenient. We will be 27.1 weeks at that appointment. Praying all looks well. We will be 6 days from what has always been my first goal of 28 weeks. 15 days from the 30 weeks that I will be super thrilled if we make it to.

     Kalani has gotten super active. Olan has been able to feel her for about 2 weeks and now you can watch her moving from the outside, too. It is reassuring to know she is growing and doing well. Trying to savor every kick and turn.

Tuesday, January 1, 2019

     A new year. What a terrifying start it is presenting with. Always before I  have hoped to see financial gains, weight loss, the typical new years goals. Nothing typical is in my head today.

     Today I look toward this new year and hope to celebrate birthdays and holidays throughout the year. I hope to actually meet my new daughter and not just give her life. I want to make plans and know I'll be here to carry them thru.

     I really am trying to stay positive and have faith. It's easy to tell someone to be strong and it will be ok. I have said to others numerous times. But, sometimes that hope falters and it's really hard to gather up and grab back onto it.

     I think it just is really hard to be anticipating an event that should be filled with joy and happiness instead filled with fear and so much unknown.  My sweet Kalani is going to be such a wonderful gift to her whole family. I know this and to this I must cling on these hard days.